last-of-the-american-zombies:

Reasons to be a mermaid;

  1. No pants.
  2. No periods.
  3. Perfect hair.
  4. You can lure men to their death.
  5. Free clam bra.

(via ohgodimsickofsleepingalone)

ellendegeneres:

Happy Classic Joke Wednesday!

(via ashy4god)

Thanks to my birthday coupon and one other code, this purchase came out to only $68!

A very happy birthday indeed!!

(via alaskantacos)

It’s all messy:
The hair.
The bed.
The words.
The heart.
Life…

William Leal  (via suchvodka)

(via tooturntforu)

sleepless-insuburbia:

tastefullyoffensive:

[accordingtodevin]

this isn’t even exaggerated. 

(via vamped-up-angel)

godmoves:

Coffee is always a good idea.

fallontonight:

- Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue, 2/20/2014

collegehumor:

Ever Wonder What Full House Would Be Like Without Michelle?

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go - nope, still not there.

(via radioactive-radness)

(via rastrophiliopustrocityyy)

(via keep-away-reality)

Let’s just say in some alternate universe, there’s a couple just like us, okay? Only she’s healthy and he’s perfect. And their world is about how much they’re going to spend on vacation or who’s in a bad mood that day, or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady. I don’t want to be those people. I want us. You. This.

f-abulush:

February 14: Just another Friday.

(via iwishihadblueeyes)

(via lovechangeseverythang)